Stephen Harper announced today that he will be firing all of his cabinet except himself. “I was wondering what I could do to cut government spending and at the same time hold on to more power”, he said with a constant twitching of his left eye. “As of today, I will be taking over all of the ministerial jobs in Foreign Affairs, Justice, Finance, Revenue, Indian Affairs, Inter-Governmental, Fisheries, Environment and any other departments I can think of. I will be giving myself a healthy raise for taking on this extra workload but rest assured that the rest of the savings will be passed on to Canadians. My first order of business is with the department of Technology. I have ordered them to develop a new device that will transfer all the information of the various departments straight to my brain,” he confided. Harper’s move means that his Conservatives have completely been relegated to backbencher status.
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