Terrorist Goose!

After a short, yet substantive joint investigation conducted by the FBI and CIA, the Bush administration has finally confirmed that terrorist birds were responsible for taking down US Airways flight 1549 into the Hudson River. Canadian Geese, grown, raised and trained in Canada by Al-Qaida were able to miraculously infiltrate the Canadian-U.S. border to conduct their attacks. It remains unclear how the birds were able to penetrate one of the most heavily protected borders in the world.

Bush wasted no time reacting to the terrorist attack, further showing his quick response rate to disasters and his ability to protect America. Fearing a second terrorist bird plot, FBI agents have been ordered to detain all Canadian geese found on U.S. soil. All detained geese will be sent straight to Guantanamo Bay pending an unfair trial. The move is expected to increase Bush’s approval rating as he nears the end of his term.
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