The Monkey House

Bored and dipping in the whiskey last night, I decided to engage in a little social investigation. I have long been curious by the human tendency to, once provoked, enter into group-think mentalities and demonize potential outsiders. In civil, civic discourse, this trend is reversed by sophisticated rhetoricians through the disarmament of their opponent, first through finding common ground and then, point for point, countering hostile suggestion with legitimate fact, all the while ignoring the hostile tone of their opponent. Well, sometimes it is nice to return slight for slight, but the skilled debater always returns to the facts that support his or her opinion. Now, in the case of political discussion, there may not be only facts but there are reasons behind the opinion and it is to these which one must turn if one’s position is to be defended.
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Photo Credit: Maxpower

The unabashed cowardice of Stephen Harper’s latest move may rekindle the suspicions of many voters come election day. It is safe to surmise, yet early to assume, that Harper is attempting to force the opposition to trigger an election by timing his important confidence motions for the spring of 2010. With two solid election victories under his belt, it is no wonder why Harper might want to take a shot at the long coveted Conservative majority. However, this overly cautious move to suspend government business as a lead up to his big power play harkens back to the Harper from 4 years ago. It is starting to look like the long awaited socially conservative Harper may be stepping into the light.

In his recent interview with Peter Mansbridge the Prime Minister makes no bones about his effort to change his image. He admitted becoming a less partisan leader, yet he openly expressed his contempt for the opposition in his tone and his belittlement of their inquiries into government business. Harper admits that he is anxious and frustrated that Senate Reform has not moved forward, all the while drooling over the new power balance he’ll create with his new Conservative appointees. And worst of all, he admits that he will be looking to these new Conservative Senators to advance crime legislation that has been roundly rejected by our delegates in the Senate. This last hypocrisy is the most telling of what is on the mind of our Prime Minister.
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Former Prime Ministers Brian Mulroney & Jean Chretien - Photo Credit: Canadian Press

Former Prime Ministers Brian Mulroney and Jean Chretien share many negative and positive traits. In fact, the similarities between the two is striking: both of Quebec working class stock, both possessing enormous drive and both doggedly determined to prove their condescending critics wrong, and both very vindictive individuals with an inability to forgive and forget. Both men were remarkable and very effective political campaigners and were viewed by opponents during campaigns as formidable political adversaries. Both married well, each married to a vibrant, warm, and talented lady, and both appear to have been loving husbands. Whatever you may think about Mulroney’s ethics and Chretien’s “ little guy from Shawinigan” schtick, it would have been a glorious and exciting match if these two were to fight each other for the Prime Ministership. But it was a contest that never happened.

What follows is a bit of counterfactual history. What if Brian Mulroney and Jean Chretien were to face each other in a battle for political supremacy? The synopsis that follows reflects my imaginings of what might have happened.
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Photo Credit: Igougo

A few months ago I wrote a paper for a poli-sci class predominantly in response to an article we were instructed to read by Juan Linz. Linz had contrasted presidential with parliamentary democracy, leaning heavily towards the latter as the preferred system of government for most democracies. I couldn’t help but take issue. After all, Linz had never seen the likes of Stephen Harper. Harper, I argued, was already proving that there are several ways to make a mockery of Parliamentarianism’s famed ‘checks and balances,’ the devices often cited by those like Linz as the selling points of the system. Indeed, Harper had (incredibly) exemplified how a prime minister with a penchant for despotism could effectively rule a liberal, democratic state almost autocratically, and that it was high time for Canada to reconsider its parliamentary system as a means to facilitate democracy.

And then things got even worse…
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Photo Credit: Blacknight Solutions

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…The famous opening phrase to Charles Dickens’ novel “A Tale Of Two Cities” was applied to the times in which Dickens lived, but it probably also applies to all periods in history, including our own. This past year represents both the best of times and the worst of times for us. What follows are a few random snapshots of the past year, representing both the good times and the bad.
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Canadians need a new national animal

Compelled by a strange feeling of responsibility to manufacture one of those generic end of/beginning of the year articles, I recalled a memory from my childhood. Thumbing through a geography textbook as a young mushroom-haired boy, probably wearing either a Spiderman jumpsuit or an entire Toronto Blue Jays uniform, I found a cartoon that was comparing the size of Canada with Russia. Russia, represented as a grinning bear in a fez cap, was much larger than Canada, which was depicted as a beaver holding a hockey stick. In my approximately seven year old brain, these images didn’t demand much scrutiny beyond wondering what the bear thought was so funny. After all, what’s laughable about a beaver? Nothing, that’s what.

The beaver is a builder, a herbivore, an aquatic genius, a noble beast with work ethic that can make hot-blooded Protestants feel fancy. Indeed, the beaver is a majestic creature, an animal that deserves better than to be sullied as Canada’s national creature. A suggestion: re-illustrate our geography books to include a species that actually reflects Canada’s behaviour domestically and internationally. I think some variety of snake is more fitting. Unlike beavers, snakes do not have legs, movable eyelids, external ear-openings, or eardrums, just like many of the government officials and corporations that represent us here and abroad. Therefore, considering the troubled eggs our dry-eyed, legless, and hard of hearing Canadian elites have been laying all over the planet this year, I don’t believe it’s fair to ridicule the beaver any longer as Canada’s national creature.
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Photo Credit: The Canadian Cave of Coolness

Recent elections and polling indicate that two great Canadian federal parties, the Liberals and the NDP, are in real trouble and could continue to face irrelevance or even extinction in future elections. These are the parties of titans like Laurier, J.S. Woodsworth, Tommy Douglas, Pearson, and Trudeau, whose names reverberate throughout Canadian history.

Is it now time for an old and little known political idea to be revisited? Should the Liberals and the NDP consider some form of partnership? Having endured numerous unsuccessful election results, the Progressive Conservatives and various conservative splinter groups successfully entertained the thought of union, creating the Conservative Party at the federal level. Would the same type of marriage work for Liberals and the NDP?

The marriage between the Progressive Conservative and the Reform political parties was like a marriage between a wolf and a domesticated dog. They share a common evolutionary history, although there has been recent branching off from the evolutionary tree. Whatever differences that do exist, they are still genetically similar enough that they can produce progeny and get along reasonably well. Thus, the marriage of the two parties could and did occur. This union, which resulted in the Conservative Party, required a lot of compromise and effort, but a relatively happy marriage ensued.
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The yellow-bellied turtle

On December 30th, two weeks after the House of Commons ended its last sitting of 2009, the Conservatives presented themselves with a belated Christmas gift, unexpectedly proroguing Parliament until March 3rd. It was to resume sitting on January 25th. As a result, the House of Commons will be vacant for nearly three months. The Conservatives assert that this is to allow them time to consult with Canadians, particularly regarding their economic action plan, before releasing their budget on March 4th. Is this what hockey fans would call “a turtle”, or is it a brilliant strategic move that once again demonstrates the Conservatives’ ability to outfox the Liberals?

Most Canadians have seen a few hockey fights. First there’s some verbal sparring, maybe some shoving, and then two guys go at it, sometimes by prior arrangement. It’s a good way to vent frustrations and stir up the crowd. Other times, a player is a pest or has done something that deserves some retribution. In this case, when the first punch is thrown the guy on the receiving end (the pest) refuses to fight back, unwilling to take the thumping he might richly deserve. He won’t put his money where is mouth is and either skates away or falls cowering to the ice, gloved hands covering his head – he is a turtle. The net result is that someone who deserved some payback doesn’t actually get much of it, and his team, in fact, gains an advantage.
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Photo Credit: Canadian Fermentation

As I’ve arrived home from my Christmas holiday, I like many other Canadians, am feeling the wave of depression at the prospect of going back to work. It is that time, and it is a painful time. Unfortunately, I have a full-time job like so many of you, I get paid every two weeks like so many of you, and like so many of you, I have to actually show up to work to receive my paycheque. But I can dream, and that dream is to work for the Canadian government. If I did, I wouldn’t be returning to work until March with the blessings of my boss and my paycheques still in hand. What a generous guy that Stephen Harper is when it comes to our tax dollars paying his MP’s salaries. Call me a slave driver, but I would expect my employees to actually earn their wage, particularly if the Canadian public is paying their salaries. I mean a four month holiday from Parliament seems a little excessive, doesn’t it?
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Photo Credit: imgur.com

For the second time, Governor General Michaëlle Jean has acceded to Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s request to prorogue Parliament. This is dangerous, to say the least, as on both occasions Mr. Harper used prorogation to dodge accountability and to retain power. Given this, I am forced to conclude that Governor General Michaëlle Jean is weak, incompetent, or colluding with Mr. Harper.

Canada is facing serious difficulties on many fronts, from a still faltering economy to climate change to world issues (we are still at war in Afghanistan, last time I checked), so the idea of Parliament taking a two-month holiday is inappropriate at best, dangerous more accurately.

I am no constitutional scholar. I am simply a practical man seeing that Canada’s democracy is not functioning well, and may in fact be in danger. Some constitutional scholars think the same: “parliamentary democracy is in danger.”
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