NDP Leader Jack Layton was the guest of honour at a fundraiser last night in Woodstock, Ontario. Layton showed up almost an hour late and was seen as a little disoriented. Here is the excerpt of his speech:

Ladies and gentleman, people of the free press, my brothers and sisters, dudes and chicks, comrades and all you other freaks out there,

“It is real…..groovy to be here tonight to fight for the right to smoke weed, man…uh um…for medicinal purposes. I support this cause with all of my MOJO. Because you know, just today I came down with a serious headache…and I was not avoiding my lady for some sugar, you dig….but when I get a nagging noodle ache or my moustache starts to drip because of my nose, there is nothing like a little Mary Juanna to smoothen things out and to take me on a different plane. Can I get an “AH YEAH!” from the audience?

Now I know you see a proper bald-headed square politician, leader of a big political party. But hey, this is Jack talking, baby! The party is just starting and I can feel you all in the room getting ready to lay right back for the big puff. I would like to ask the free press to lower those lights on me, man. Like my boy Cory Hart said, it is time to wear my sunglasses at night. My old lady and I want to lose ourselves in your purple haze, man! Shine the black light on me and freak out when my white shirt starts to glow into a new dimension, man!

Now, I would love to answer all your questions but I have a hunger. No, it is not a hunger for truth; it is the munchies, man! So after our party or ..ah..fundraiser, there will be a brief huddle outside the local Tim Horton’s drive-thru at oh, around, let’s say 4AM. In the meantime, someone get me some Cheetos! PEACE OUT EVERYONE! KEEP ON ROCKING IN THE FREE WORLD!”

Layton then disappeared through the thick smokey fog and could be heard singing in the distance (“Have You Never Been Mellow” by Olivia Newton John) in a high pitched falsetto voice. The evening raised $641.52 and a whole lot of self-awareness on the issue of marijuana ….for medicinal purposes of course!

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Tags: jack layton, marijuana, medicinal marijuana

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