Terrorist Goose!

After a short, yet substantive joint investigation conducted by the FBI and CIA, the Bush administration has finally confirmed that terrorist birds were responsible for taking down US Airways flight 1549 into the Hudson River. Canadian Geese, grown, raised and trained in Canada by Al-Qaida were able to miraculously infiltrate the Canadian-U.S. border to conduct their attacks. It remains unclear how the birds were able to penetrate one of the most heavily protected borders in the world.

Bush wasted no time reacting to the terrorist attack, further showing his quick response rate to disasters and his ability to protect America. Fearing a second terrorist bird plot, FBI agents have been ordered to detain all Canadian geese found on U.S. soil. All detained geese will be sent straight to Guantanamo Bay pending an unfair trial. The move is expected to increase Bush’s approval rating as he nears the end of his term.

“This aggression against American civilians committed by Al Qaida trained birds will not be tolerated,” Bush said just minutes after the attack. He also hinted that an invasion of Canada with the aim of destroying terrorist cells has not been ruled out. “I will do everything in my power to keep America safe, including seeking those responsible wherever their hideouts may be,” he said.

In a bizarre and seemingly ignorant response, Obama insisted that the bird attackers were not terrorists. Rather, he claimed the birds were simply Canadian geese migrating South. So naïve…

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Tags: al qaida, birds, bush, canada, crash, hudson river, obama, Terrorism, us airways

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 18th, 2009 at 2:29 am and is filed under Terrorism. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.